I grew up always looking forward to being a wife and mom.  It is how God made me, and though I am an attorney, my family is my priority. Like many of you, we struggled with getting pregnant. We adopted our first two children and loved them deeply, but I still felt called to experience pregnancy. This is a story for another day, but I prayed fervently for the first ten years of my marriage to get pregnant. As a result, I was so GRATEFUL to God when we had our two youngest that there could have been anything going on in our life, and I would have been oblivious because I was so happy.  I have enjoyed every stage of watching all of my children as they grow up to the next stage. However, knowing that as my background perspective, I still recognized the chaos of the toddler years.  These years can be challenging for parents because it does feel chaotic. However, there are 3 Keys to survive these years with a smile on your face and joy in your heart.

3 KEYS TO SURVIVE TODDLER-4-YEARS STAGE:

1. Embrace the Chaos. We adopted our first two children when they were in grade school, so the baby and toddler years were completely new to us with our younger two boys.  As a stay-at-home mom, I loved every stage of the boys’ childhood. As the toddler years approached, I learned to destress, let go, and embrace the chaos. Thankfully, my husband was completely supportive. I learned not to seek perfection and instead tried to remind myself that this was a stage that would not last long. To survive these years with a smile on your face, I think it is important to be realistic during these years.  Let yourself relax and just go with it. This phase does not last long in the scheme of things.
2.  Be in the Moment. Instead of looking around at all of the things I could be doing around the house, I spent my time investing in each of our children: reading books, coloring, and doing things like playdough on the table. I spent time playing with the kids while they made me pretend things in their plastic kitchen and played with toys. Those moments are priceless and help your children feel supported and confident.  Toddlers, through age four, are so full of excitement and joy.  They light up about everything, and it is contagious if you allow yourself to be in the moment. Also, you will laugh so much during this stage because your children are so adorable.
3. Temporarily Delay Other Passions. It may be unpopular to say this, but for me, I let my children have my full attention whenever possible during these years.  I considered it a privilege from God to be a mom (and still do).  When the older kids got home from school, I’d be holding a baby and helping them with homework. Dishes, laundry, cooking, and decluttering pretty much took up the rest of my day.  I just saw this is a temporarily busy stage and knew I would have more time later for other interests and passions. I found it easier to adapt by embracing the season I was experiencing and looking for the blessings in it. By doing this, I did not feel any resentment or frustration. Instead, the children had my focus during these extra busy years, and I found joy in it.  Choosing to embrace this child-focused stage and having a good attitude about it are instrumental in sincerely enjoying these precious years of parenthood.

Three Practical Solutions.

1. Tidy Up Plan. In these toddler-pre-K years, toys are constantly being removed from their neat, tidy areas, seeming to somehow reproduce, and then chaos erupts everywhere. My mom gave me great advice on what she used to do during these chaotic years. Before my dad would get home from work, she would throw all the toys that were all over the floor inside it and try to straighten up the den.  That way it seemed more peaceful when he walked in the door.  Then, after Dad was home, as the chaotic scene of toys gradually reappeared, it was less dramatic. I tried to do the same and recommend it.
2. Simple Cooking. Despite delicious looking recipes on Pinterest, I found it easier to simplify meals during these busy years. Aim for healthy and edible meals that do not have many steps would be my advice. We parents have to give ourselves a break and lower the perfection standard, especially during the toddler-pre-K years.
3. Bedtime Routine. Another way to reduce the chaos is to set up a bedtime routine. It does not need to be complicated, but it does need to be expected to be followed. If your kids see “this is just how it is,” they will be less likely to challenge it, even as they grow older. 

The toddler-pre-K years are so much fun.  You will look back and realize some of your favorite memories full of laughter and sweet moments happened during these years.  If you embrace the stage, lower the perfection standard on yourself, and immerse yourself in the moment, you will easily survive this stage.  You’ve got this!

Blessings,

Jeanne

Copyright 2025