Feeling overwhelmed and living a chaotic life? PTA, Homeschool Cooperatives, Church, Youth Groups, Job, Charities, etc. Most parents are constantly getting pulled in what feels like a million different directions. We can be left, feeling stressed, unfulfilled and exhausted. The good news? There are keys to helping declutter your life and helping you to lead a blissful blessed life.
Key 1: What’s Most Important to You? This is an important question. It sounds simple, but it is actually quite profound. For me, I am a Christian and my relationship with God is very important to me. After that, my priorities are being a wife and mother. These are passions God has always had on my heart, so those are my level number priority, with work and other things that follow on a level two for me. It is important to figure out what is most important to you. This is the prism to help you declutter the chaos out of your life.
Key 2: Accept That You Cannot Please Everyone. I am a “pleaser”, maybe it is from being the first born growing up, but I like to keep people around me happy. It can be a good thing, but I have had to learn that life is busy and there are so many great ways to utilize your time, and you must limit when to say “yes” or you end up living a life you are not seeking.
You Cannot Do It All. When my oldest children were in public school, I jumped in and was the PTA president and helped volunteer wherever I could. I helped coordinate a college group to go into our community and make an impact. I started a grade school girls’ youth group and hosted activities every two weeks, from slumber parties to concerts, my husband and I jumped in with both feet. I enjoyed all of this, but we were definitely heading towards burnout at the pace we were keeping. The kids were on ball teams each season and involved in other activities, like dance and cheerleading. This was in addition to running our own business. I learned we were saying “yes” too often. It was an adjustment, but as my two younger children were born, we pulled back into a more peaceful pace of life. Frankly, I learned to say “no.” As a Christian, I learned to pray about opportunities to help me know which passions and options to pursue and which ones to set aside.
Key 3: Declutter Your Life: Just Say No. At first, it was difficult to say no to things that sounded like a good activity, but it has gotten easier as I’ve seen how our family has benefitted from not feeling so stressed, busy, and hurried all of the time. For example, currently, I am not serving on any boards (though I love and appreciate charities, etc.). It can be tempting to say yes because I admire what an organization is doing in the community, but I always come back to the question, “Is it best for my priorities – faith, spouse, family?” Don’t feel guilty to say no, and keep in mind there are seasons in life where you can say “yes” more often than other seasons.
Key 4: Declutter Your Children’s Schedules. If you signed your children up for every option, your family would never eat a meal together, have an evening together, and, in some cases, vacation together. It is important to step back and apply your priorities to your life in all areas, including your children’s schedules.
Family First Decisions for All of Us, Including the Kids’ Activities. From my own experience and watching other families, I have come to realize the pressure so many families feel to let their children experience every activity available. After all, who wants their children to miss out? The list of options includes traveling sports teams, competitive dance and cheerleading, musical instrument private lessons, foreign language private lessons, after-school art club, Jiu Jitsu, running club, etc. This is on top of school and everything necessary to help your children succeed in the classroom. It can become overwhelming.
Saying NO to Children’s Activities. Our family owns a business, and my husband often worked Saturdays while we were building it from scratch. So, when my two older children were asked to participate in competitive ball teams and cheer squads, we came to learn this was not possible for our family. These groups practiced throughout the week, had out-of-town tournaments and competitions, had fundraising requirements, etc. We just had to face the fact this did not fit in with our family’s goals. If we had said yes, we would have had to split up a lot, with one parent taking one child and vice versa. We would not have had much time together in the evenings because we would all be at various practices, etc. We would have been eating fast food on the road and not having peaceful dinners together. It might seem bizarre to some, but we decided that was not what we wanted for our marriage or family. We choose family above the chaotic schedule.
We have continued to analyze our children’s passions, interests, and talents. Then, we pray about opportunities and choose what seems like a good fit for our family. We also work to prioritize spending time together as a family. Whether it is doing projects, watching movies, cooking, vacationing, or whatever it is, we choose to purposefully do life together.
Key 5. No Regrets. When you choose to make your family life a priority, it reduces stress for everyone in your family. Of course, there are seasons when life gets busy, but we are not all going in a million directions all year. We strive to be purposeful with what we say “yes” to, and when we say “no,” we have no regrets. I have come to learn that for your children to flourish, they do not need to be overscheduled.
Blessings,
Jeanne
Copyright 2025
