I saw a post on X that made me pause because I had not considered it. The video was a reenactment of a science experiment from the 1970s, in which a young child (maybe 18 months old) is shown sitting in his high chair and interacting with his mother. At first, the mother and child interact, and the baby is joyful, mirroring the mother’s joy.  Then the experiment has the mother turn her back, and then when she turns to face the child, the mother is stoic, not interacting at all. The child at first is joyful, but the mother does not mirror it. The child becomes more and more upset – reaching out to her, pointing, doing anything to try to get the mother to react, but she does not. Eventually, the child becomes disengaged and gives up trying to get his mother’s attention. He looks sad and pitiful.  Finally, the experiment lets the mother start interacting with the child again, who is instantly overcome with joy. 

Then it hit me: I bet most moms are checking their phones while interacting with their young children. This is a new form of a “distraction” that could unintentionally hurt your child. I know how often I look at my phone, and understand it would be something to address if I had young children.  It is normal to feel somewhat isolated when caring for your young baby and toddler. However, after watching the video, it reminded me to analyze how we are interacting with our children. We could be in the room, but in essence, be ignoring them.

We, as parents, have the power to help our children feel valued and loved. It is critical to their development that we actively engage with them. So, it is important to realize we are, whether intentionally or not, making a choice to ignore our kids by doomscrolling/posting on social media vs. directly engaging with our kids. When we step back and think about it, it is obvious that our children are worth our attention over the tech distractions.  And though it’s critical in their younger years, even as teenagers, your children need to feel valued and loved. Eye contact, intentional listening, and interacting with your child are important at any age.

You’ve got this!

Blessings,

Jeanne

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